Boo on this "Holiday"

I have been over weight a large majority of my life. I have many weakness as well as many strengths. So, it is only right that I asknowledge both sides of myself. The holidays are the biggest struggle for me. Special occassions, dinners, going out to eat, birthdays and holidays are my biggest challenges. I eat so well when I am home, alone, just me! But, when I go out temptation is much harder to over come. Last night I wanted to feel "festive". My husband and I didnt go out for Halloween because we have a new little family member which is fine, we enjoy staying home together. But, I LOVE halloween its my favorite holiday so I made hot cocoa loaded with milk and dark chocolate. I definitely did not feel great about this decision. Then tonight I found myself cuddled up on the couch with my daughter watching a shrek halloween movie and eating dark chocolate chips. I definitely associate food with Holidays and happy feelings and this is something I want to change. I didn't even think of choosing a healthier option like hot apple cider or tea and I was genuinely dissapointed in myself. And tomorrow will be even harder. I want to take my baby girl trick or treating because its her first Halloween as a big girl. But, honestly who am I going to give all the candy to? My plan is to give it to my sister and husband and not allow ANY of it in the house, maybe few suckers or chewing gum. Well, anyway just needed to get this all out! I want to overcome these obstacles and be a better me and not pass down these eating habbits and holiday traditions with my children.

Food Journal

Breakfast

Special K cereal with chopped up banana's and vanilla soymilk

Snack

granola bar with peanuts

Lunch

Grilled chicken salad with cucumbers and feta cheese and ranch dressing (blech! high cal but tasted good)

Yoplait yogurt chocolate mousse

Dinner

Two bowls of Kale soup with Kale (obviously), carrots, cannelini beans, broth, chicken and turkey sausage

two peices of some kind of coffee cake! (SO ANGRY!)

Snack

1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips

Carrots & Cucumbers with hummus

I can do better tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!